Sixteen Things

Dave Barry’s "Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

  • You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe day-light-savings time.
  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  • The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
  • The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
  • There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 111.
  • There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
  • The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
  • If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
  • You should not confuse your career with your life.
  • A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  • No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  • When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
  • Your friends love you, anyway.
  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and do it.
  • It’s a good thing I already knew most of these things much earlier than the age of 50 but it’s a great list! Hope you enjoyed it! http://www.appleseeds.org/Barry_50years.htm

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